Speaking To An Angered Husband

Asalama laykum sisters

it is always that way isnt'it that A says  :kuy jilate hain ,? and B- abi takj shuru nahi kiyab

uf!  blal bla bla!

see ...

Allaah says: “Go, both of you, to Pharoah for he has indeed transgressed all bounds, but speak to him gently, so that perchance he will take heed or fear (Allaah).” [20:43]

In this verse Allaah addresses Prophet Moosaa (as) and tells him to speak to Pharoah in a gentle manner. And who was Pharoah? He was the biggest sinner, the most evil man at that time, the most arrogant oppressor.

My sisters, if a dispute breaks between you and your husband, then know that by you raising your voice when speaking to your husband, you r only increasing him in anger. And the more angry a man gets, the more harder it is for him to cool down.

Your husband, no matter how arrogant he may be, no matter how unjust he may be towards you, he is no where near as oppressive and arrogant as Pharoah. And yet Allaah ordered Moosaa to speak to Pharoah gently, i.e., with kindness.

My sisters, if a dispute breaks out between you and your husband then by you shouting back or giving him attitude, then you r doing nothing but digging a deeper black hole for yourself. If there is one main thing which makes a man really hate his wife, then it is such behaviour. As speaking in such a way will only increase your husband in nothing but anger, the more angry a man gets, the more harder it is for him to cool down.

If you truly wish to be treated in kindness then gentleness is the key. Repress evil with kindness and you will see that he in whose heart was enmity will turn to love. Repressing anger may be hard, but know that “No one humbles himself for the sake of Allaah, but Allaah will raise his status.” [Muslim]

And I end by reminding my sisters that shouting back, giving him attitude, being sarcastic etc., are all characteristics which will only increase your husband in anger. No good will come out of such behaviour and you will only be on the receiving end of an even more angrier husband. Such behaviour will make your husband reciprocate with harshness, rudeness and arrogance. It angers a man beyond limits; and the more angry a man gets, the more harder it is for him to cool down.

Your Reminder Fatima who love you all for the sake of Allah 

TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE

Asalama laykum sisters

Today Exceptionally i will not be posting the topic on Isra /Miraj as not to be part

of  promoting anything... well  you see what i mean!!

But you can read the second part of the sermont as well as retain  the general blessing to the prophet (saw) ect..

InshAllah next week....love you all for the sake of Allah!

Second sermon

Praise be to Allah. I bear witness that there is no deity but Him, having no associates. I also bear witness that our Master Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger, may the peace and the blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his pure family, his companions and all those who will follow them in righteousness till the Day of Judgment.

As to what follows, please fear Allah by observing Him whether in secret or in public, ( part edited), Allah the most Exalted ordered us to protect ourselves by avoiding everything that may cause harm, be it a word or action.

One source of threat that is medically proven is smoking; it affects both hearts and lungs and causes cancer. It also hurts those who are around the smoker, a kind of situation that recalls in mind the Hadith saying, “there should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.” Moreover, such a [deadly] habit not only kills one’s health, but also makes him poor, a further reason to confirm the size of its harm.

Dear Servants of Allah,

Bear in mind that you are asked to offer prayer and greetings upon our most noble Prophet pbuh for Allah says, "Indeed, Allah and His angels sends blessing upon the Prophet. O you who have believed, ask [Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [Allah to grant him] peace." (Al Ahzab: 56).

 blessing on me will receive ten blessings from Allah." May the peace and the blessings of Allah be upon our Master Muhammad pbuh, his family and all his Companions.

May Allah be pleased with the Rightly Guided Caliphs and all those who will follow them in righteousness till the Day of Judgment.

O Allah, may we ask You to help us with what gets us closer to Paradise and furthers us from hell. O Allah we seek Your grace to admit us, our parents, whoever has done a favour to us and all Muslims to Your Paradise.  O Allah guide us to perform good work and give up misdeeds.

O Allah, make Iman (faith) beloved to us and beautify it in our hearts, and make us hate disbelief, immorality and disobedience. O Allah, I seek from You guidance, virtue, purification of the soul and being self-sufficient. O Allah, let us see the Truth as Truth and grant that we follow it. And let us see Falsehood as Falsehood and grant that we avoid it.

May Allah also mend our intentions, grant that our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make success be an ally to us. O Allah, we seek Your favour to raise our status, increase our good deeds, remove from us our misdeeds and cause us to die with the righteous.

O Allah, we implore You at this instant not to let a sin unforgiven, a distress unrelieved, an illness unhealed or a handicapped without relief, a dead without

mercy or a debt unsettled. Our Lord, give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire.

May Allah grant our leader HH Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan and his Deputy, HH Sheikh Mohammad bin Rashid Al Maktoum, success and provide strength and assistance to his brothers, Their Highness The Rulers of the Emirates, and his trustworthy Crown Prince HH Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan.

O Allah, forgive all of the Muslims, men and women, living and dead, and make blessings follow us and them. May Allah have mercy on Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Maktoum and all their brothers, the Late UAE Sheikhs. O Lord, forgive and show mercy, You are the Ever Merciful and there is no strength or power save with Allah, the High, the Great.

We pray to Allah, the Most Gracious, to continue blessing the UAE and all Muslim countries with safety and security.

O servants of Allah, remember Allah and He will remember you. Be grateful for His benevolence He will increase His blessings to you. Allah, the Most High, says, "And establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do." (Al Ankaboot: 45).
Test Your Knowledge 1

Assalaamu ‘alaykum, I thought it’ll be good to have a few tests once in a while. So here we go. The answers are at the bottom of the page. All the questions revolve around the posts on the last three pages. Enjoy. And no cheating! Comment at the bottom and let me know what you got. If anyone needs any clarifications, dont hesitate to ask.
Q1) What does the following hadeeth prove?: “O Asmaa Indeed when a woman reaches the age of puberty, it is not allowed that any of her be seen except for this and this.” And he pointed to his face and hands. [Aboo Daawood]
a) That the niqaab is not an obligation.
b) That there is no awrah for a girl below the age of puberty.
c) Nothing as the hadeeth is weak.
d) That is permissible for a woman to wear tight clothing.
Q2)  If a stone is dropped from the top of hell how long does it take to reach the bottom?
a) 7 years.
b) 70 years.
c) 72 years.
d) 100 years.
Q3) Which one of the following is true:
a) That a woman is not allowed to pray any optional prayer without her husband’s permission.
b) That a woman is not allowed to fast any optional fast without her husband’s permission.
c) That a woman is not allowed to give charity without her husband’s permission.
d) None of the above.
Q4) Why did the Prophet (saw) supplicate: “O Allaah do not make my grave an idol that is worshipped.”?
a) Because that would make the other Prophets of a lower status than he.
b) Out of humbleness.
c) Because it is a form of shirk.
d) None of the above, as the hadeteh is weak.
Q5) Regarding the saved sect, the Prophet (saw) described them as “the jamaa’ah”. What best describes the jamaa’ah?
a) The vast majority.
b) Those who are upon the haqq, even if they are few.
c) Those upon the haqq, on condition they are a large number.
d) Those who are in the lands of Yemen.
Q6) Which one of the following statements is false?
a) The Quraan is the created words of Allaah.
b) The Quraan is from Allaah in words and letters
c) The Quraan is uncrreated.
Q7) Is it permisible to say that the grave worshippers (who claim to be upon Quraan and Sunnah) are making the graves they worship into idols?
a) Yes because they believe idol worship is permissible.
b) No because that is insulting the dead, and comparing a pious man to an idol.
c) No because we do not know their real intention.
d) Yes because their actions are similar to those who worshipped idols.
Q8) When a woman annoys her husband, his Al-hoor Al-’Ayn addresses his wife from above the heavens saying:
a) May Allaah help you.
b) May Allaah guide you.
c) May Allaah destroy you.
d) May Allaah break your back.
Q9) What is the correct position of Imaam Ash-Shaafi’ee on venerating graves?
a) It is permissible if the people of the land are upon true tawheed.
b) It is not permissible for it creates fitnah for the dead one as well as the living.
c) It is permissible to build over the graves of righteous people only.
d) It is not permissible because all the hadeeth in this regard are weak.
Q10) Regarding the generations gone before, the Messenger of Allaah said about them: “They were the ones that if a righteous man among them died, they would make his grave into a masjid and make images of the person within it. They are …” (finish the hadeeth)
a) the best of creation with Allaah.
b) the worst of creation with Allaah.
c) from the people of the right Hand brought close to Allaah.
d) from the inhabitants of the Fire of Hell.
CELEBRATING ISRA MIRAJ IS
a) a sunnah when should encourage people to do
b) a bida and has no basis in the sunnah
c) up to the poeple  nothing wrong with it
d) was  celebrated by the prophet Himself saw

for your answer juste write as follow
exple  Q1- a  etc....
A  very nice present for the winner InshAllah! dont wait !come and let us all play!! 
Your Reminder Fatima who love you all for the sake of Allah 

FOUR POISONS OF THE HEARTS- IBN QAYYIM

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Beneficent
Asalama laykum sisters it is crucial that we understand our heart and what is going on down there!Dr Ibn qayyim AFTER THE DIAGNOSIS,give us the remedy to avoid a dead heart and have onnthe contary a living heart. stay tune....

You should know that all acts of disobedience are poison to the heart and cause its sickness and ruin. They result in its will running off course, against that of Allah, and so its sickness festers and increases. Ibn al-Mubarak said:

I have seen wrong actions killing hearts, And their degradation may lead to their becoming addicted to them. Turning away from wrong actions gives life to the hearts, And opposing your self is best for it.

Whoever is concerned with the health and life of his heart, must rid it of the effects of such poisons, and then protect it by avoiding new ones. If he takes any by mistake, then he should hasten to wipe out their effect by turning in repentance and seeking forgiveness from Allah, as well as by doing good deeds that will wipe out his wrong actions.

By the four poisons we mean unnecessary talking, unrestrained glances, too much food, and keeping bad company. Of all the poisons, these are the most widespread and have the greatest effect on a heart's well-being.

Unnecessary Talking

It is reported in al-Musnad, on the authority of Anas, that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "The faith of a servant is not put right until his heart is put right, and his heart is not put right until his tongue is put right." [Da'if hadith, Al-Mundhari, 3/234; and al-Iraqi inal-Ihya, 8/1539] This shows that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, has made the purification of faith conditional on the purification of the heart, and the purification of the heart conditional on the purification of the tongue.

At-Tirmidhi relates in a hadith on the authority of Ibn 'Umar, "Do not talk excessively without remembering Allah, because such excessive talk without the mention of Allah causes the heart to harden, and the person furthest from Allah is a person with a hard heart." [Da'if hadith, at-Tirmidhi, Kitab az-Zuhud, 7/92, gharib; no one else has transmitted it other than Ibrahim ibn Abdullah ibn Hatib, whom adh-Dhahabi mentions, 1/43, stating that this is one of the gharib hadith attributed to him]

Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "A person who talks too much is a person who often makes mistakes, and someone who often makes mistakes, often has wrong actions. The Fire has a priority over such a frequent sinner." [Da'if hadith, Ibn Hibban and al-Bayhaqi, and al-Iraqi in his edition of al-Ihya, 8/1541]

In a hadith related on the authority of Mu'adh, the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "Shall I not tell you how to control all that?" I said, "Yes do, O Messenger of Allah." So he held his tongue between his fingers, and then he said, "Restrain this." I said, "Oh Prophet of Allah, are we accountable for what we say?" He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "May your mother be bereft by your loss! Is there anything more than the harvest of the tongues that throws people on their faces (or he said 'on their noses') into the Fire?" [Sahih hadith, at-Tirmidhi, al-Hakim, adh-Dhahabi]

What is meant here by 'the harvest of the tongues' is the punishment for saying forbidden things. A man, through his actions and words, sows the seeds of either good or evil. On the Day of Resurrection he harvests their fruits. Those who sow the seeds of good words and deeds harvest honour and blessings; those who sow the seeds of evil words and deeds reap only regret and remorse.

A hadith related by Abu Hurayrah says, "What mostly causes people to be sent to the Fire are the two openings: the mouth and the private parts." [Sahih hadith, at-Tirmidhi and Ahmad; also al-Hakim and adh-Dhahabi]

Abu Hurayrah also related that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "The servant speaks words, the consequences of which he does not realise, and for which he is sent down into the depths of the Fire further than the distance between the east and the west."[Al-Bukhari in Kitab ar-Riqaq, and Muslim in Kitab az-Zuhud]

The same hadith was transmitted by at-Tirmidhi with slight variations, "The servant says something that he thinks is harmless, and for which he will be plunged into the depths of the Fire as far as seventy autumns." [At-Tirmdihi, Kitab az-Zuhud; he said the hadith is hasan gharib]

Uqba ibn Amir said, "O Messenger of Allah, what is our best way of surviving?" He, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied,"Guard your tongue, make your house suffice for sheltering your privacy, and weep for your wrong actions." [At-Tirmdihi in Kitab az-Zuhudwith a slightly different wording; he said the hadith is hasan. This wording is reported by Abu Na'im in al-Hilya]

It has been related on the authority of Sahl ibn Sa'd that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "Whoever can guarantee what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee him the Garden." [Al-Bukhari, Kitab ar-Riqaq, 11/308 and Kitab al-Hudud, 12/113]

It has also been related by Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,"Let whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day either speak good or remain silent." [Al-Bukhari, Kitab ar-Riqaq, 11/308; Muslim, Kitab al-Iman, 2/18. The complete hadith is, "Let whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day either speak good or remain silent; and let whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his neighbours; and let whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day be generous to his guest."]

Thus talking can either be good, in which case it is commendable, or bad, in which case it is haram.

The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "Everything the children of Adam say goes against them, except for their enjoining good and forbidding evil, and remembering Allah, Glorious and Might is He." This was reported by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Ma'jah on the authority of Umm Habiba, may Allah be pleased with her. [The hadith is hasan and is reported by at-Tirmdhi in Kitab az-Zuhud and by Ibn Majah inKitab al-Fitan. At-Tirmidhi classifies it as hasan gharib. We have no report of it other than from Muhammad ibn Yazid ibn Khanis]

Umar ibn al-Khattab visited Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with them, and found him pulling his tongue with his fingers. Umar said, "Stop! may Allah forgive you!" Abu Bakr replied, "This tongue has brought me to dangerous places." [Hasan according to Abu Ya'la, Bayhaqi and as-Suyuti. Musnad, 1/201; as-Sa'ati]

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud said, "By Allah, besides Whom no god exists, nothing deserves a long prison sentence more than my tongue." He also used to say, "O tongue, say good and you will profit; desist from saying evil things and you will be safe; otherwise you will find only regret."

Abu Hurayrah reported that Ibn al-Abbas said, "A person will not feel greater fury or anger for any part of his body on the Day of Judgement more than what he will feel for his tongue, unless he only used it for saying or enjoining good."

Al-Hasan said, "Whoever does not hold his tongue cannot understand his din."

The least harmful of a tongue's faults is talking about whatever does not concern it. The following hadith of the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, is enough to indicate the harm of this fault, "One of the merits of a person's Islam is his abandoning what does not concern him."[Sahih, at-Tirmdhi, Kitab az-Zuhud, 6/607; Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/201; as-Sa'ati, al-Fath ar-Rabbani, 19/257; hadith number 12 in an-Nawawi's Forty Hadith]

Abu Ubaydah related that al-Hasan said, "One of the signs of Allah's abandoning a servant is His making him preoccupied with what does not concern him."

Sahl said, "Whoever talks about what does not concern him is deprived of truthfulness."

As we have already mentioned above, this is the least harmful of the tongue's faults. There are far worse things, like backbiting, gossiping, obscene and misleading talk, two-faced and hypocritical talk, showing off, quarrelling, bickering, singing, lying, mockery, derision and falsehood; and there are many more faults which can affect a servant's tongue, ruining his heart and causing him to lose both his happiness and pleasure in this life, and his success and profit in the next life. Allah is the One to Whom we turn for assistance.

Unrestrained Glances

The unrestrained glance results in the one who looks becoming attracted to what he sees, and in the imprinting of an image of what he sees in his heart. This can result in several kinds of corruption in the heart of the servant. The following are a number of them.

It has been related that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, once said words to the effect, "The glance is a poisoned arrow of Shaytan. Whoever lowers his gaze for Allah, He will bestow upon him a refreshing sweetness which he will find in his heart on the day that he meets Him." [Da'if, at-Tabarani, 8/63; al-Hakim, al-Mustadrak, 4/314; Ahmad, al-Musnad, 5/264]

Shaytan enters with the glance, for he travels with it, faster than the wind blowing through an empty place. He makes what is seen appear more beautiful than it really is, and transforms it into an idol for the heart to worship. Then he promises it false rewards, lights the fire of desires within it, and fuels it with the wood of forbidden actions, which the servant would not have committed had it not been for this distorted image.

This distracts the heart and makes it forget its more important concerns. It stands between it and them; and so the heart loses its straight path and falls into the pit of desire and ignorance. Allah, Mighty and Glorious is He, says:

"And do not obey anyone whose heart We have made forgetful in remembering Us- who follows his own desires, and whose affair has exceeded all bounds." [Al-Qur'an 18:28]

The unrestrained gaze causes all three afflications.

It has been said that between the eye and the heart is an immediate connection; if the eyes are corrupted, then the heart follows. It becomes like a rubbish heap where all the dirt and filth and rottenness collect, and so there is no room for love for Allah, relating all matters to Him, awareness of being in His presence, and feeling joy at His proximity-only the opposite of these things can inhabit such a heart.

Staring and gazing without restraint is disobedience to Allah:

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that is more purifying for them. Surely Allah is aware of what they do." [Al-Qur'an 24:30]

Only the one who obeys Allah's commands is content in this world, and only the servant who obeys Allah will survive in the next world.

Furthermore, letting the gaze roam free cloaks the heart with darkness, just as lowering the gaze for Allah clothes it in light. After the above ayah, Allah, the Glorious and Mighty, says in the same surah of the Qur'an:

"Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth: the likeness of His light is as if there were a niche, and in the niche is a lamp, and in the lamp is a glass, and the glass as it were a brilliant star, lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it. Light upon light. 'Allah guides whomever He wants to His Light. Allah strikes metaphors for man; and Allah knows all things." [Al-Qur'an 24:35]

When the heart is a light, countless good comes to it from all directions. If it is dark, then clouds of evil and afflictions come from all directions to cover it up.

Letting the gaze run loose also makes the heart blind to distinguishing between truth and falsehood, between the sunnah and innovation; while lowering it for Allah, the Might and Exalted, gives it a penetrating, true and distinguishing insight.

A righteous man once said, "Whoever enriches his outward behaviour by following the sunnah, and makes his inward soul wealthy through contemplation, and averts his gaze away from looking at what is forbidden, and avoids anything of a doubtful nature, and feeds solely on what is halal-his inner sight will never falter."

Rewards for actions come in kind. Whoever lowers his gaze from what Allah has forbidden, Allah will give his inner sight abundant light.

Too Much Food

The consumption of small amounts of food guarantees tenderness of the heart, strength of the intellect, humility of the self, weakness of desires, and gentleness of temperament. Immoderate eating brings about the opposite of these praiseworthy qualities.

Al-Miqdam ibn Ma'd Yakrib said that he heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, say, "The son of Adam fills no vessel more displeasing to Allah than his stomach. A few morsels should be enough for him to preserve his strength. If he must fill it, then he should allow a third for his food, a third for his drink and leave a third empty for easy breathing." [Sahih, Ahmad, al-Musnad, 4/132; as-Sa'ati, al-Fath ar-Rabbani, 17/88; at-Tirmidhi, Kitab az-Zuhud, 7/51]

Excessive eating induces many kinds of harm. It makes the body incline towards disobedience to Allah and makes worship and obedience seem laborious-such evils are bad enough in themselves. A full stomach and excessive eating have caused many a wrong action and inhibited much worship. Whoever safeguards against the evils of overfilling his stomach has prevented great evil. It is easier for Shaytan to control a person who has filled his stomach with food and drink, which is why it has often been said, "Restrict the pathways of Shaytan by fasting." [Da'if; it does not appear in most of the sources of the sunnah, but is mentioned in al-Ghazali's al-Ihya, 8/1488]

It has been reported that when a group of young men from the Tribe of Israel were worshipping, and it was time for them to break their fast, a man stood up and said, "Do not eat too much, otherwise you will drink too much, and then you will end up sleeping too much, and then you will lose too much."

The Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and his companions, may Allah be pleased with them, used to go hungry quite frequently. Although this was often due to a shortage of food, Allah decreed the best and most favourable conditions for His Messenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. This is why Ibn 'Umar and his father before him-in spite of the abundance of food available to them-modeled their eating habits on those of the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam. It has been reported that 'A'isha, may Allah be pleased with her, said, "From the time of their arrival in Madinah up until his death, the family of Muhammad, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, never ate their fill of bread made from wheat three nights in a row." [Al-Bukhari, Kitab al-At'ima, 9/549; and Muslim, Kitab az-Zuhud, 8/105]

Ibrahim ibn Adham said, "Any one who controls his stomach is in control of his deen, and anyone who controls his hunger is in control of good behaviour. Disobedience towards Allah is nearest to a person who is satiated with a full stomach, and furthest away from a person who is hungry."

Keeping Bad Company

Unnecessary companionship is a chronic disease that causes much harm. How often have the wrong kind of companionship and intermixing deprived people of Allah's generosity, planting discord in their hearts which even the passage of time-even if it were long enough for mountains to be worn away-has been unable to dispel. In keeping such company one can find the roots of loss, both in this life and in the next life.

A servant should benefit from companionship. In order to do so he should divide people into four categories, and be careful not to get them mixed up, for once one of them is mixed with another, then evil can find its way through to him.

The *FIRST* category are those people whose company is like food: it is indispensable, night or day. Once a servant has taken his need from it, he leaves it be until he requires it again, and so on. These are the people with knowledge of Allah-of His commands, of the scheming of His enemies, and of the diseases of the heart and their remedies - who wish well for Allah, His Prophet and His servants. Associating with this type of person is an achievement in itself.

The *SECOND* category are those people whose company is like a medicine. They are only required when a disease sets in. When you are healthy, you have no need of them. However, mixing with them is sometimes necessary for your livelihood, businesses, consultation and the like. Once what you need from them has been fulfilled, mixing with them should be avoided.

The *THIRD* category are those people whose company is harmful. Mixing with this type of person is like a disease, in all its variety and degrees and strengths and weaknesses. Associating with one or some of them is like an incurable chronic disease. You will never profit either in this life or in the next life if you have them for company, and you will surely lose either one or both of your deen and your livelihood because of them. If their companionship has taken hold of you and is established, then it becomes a fatal, terrifying sickness.

Amongst such people are those who neither speak any good that might benefit you, nor listen closely to you so that they might benefit from you. They do not know their souls and consequently put their selves in their rightful place. If they speak, their words fall on their listeners' hearts like the lashes of a cane, while all the while they are full of admiration for and delight in their own words.

They cause distress to those in their company, while believing that they are the sweet scent of the gathering. If they are silent, they are heavier than a massive millstone-too heavy to carry or even drag across the floor. Ash-Shafi'i, may Allah be pleased with him, is reported to have said, "Whenever a tedious person sits next to me, the side on which he is sitting feels lower down than the other side of me."

All in all, mixing with anyone who is bad for the soul will not last, even if it is unavoidable. It can be one of the most distressing aspects of a servant's life that he is plagued by such person, with whom it may be necessary to associate. In such a relationship, a servant should cling to good behaviour, only presenting him with his outward appearance, while disguising his inner soul, until Allah offers him a way out of his affliction and the means of escape from this situation.

The *FOURTH* category are those people whose company is doom itself. It is like taking poison: its victim either finds an antidote or perishes. Many people belong to this category. They are the people of religious innovation and misguidance, those who abandon thesunnah of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and advocate other beliefs. They call what is the sunnah a bid'ah and vice-versa. A man with any intellect should not sit in their assemblies nor mix with them. The result of doing so will either be the death of his heart or, at the very best, its falling seriously ill.

What Gives the Heart Life and Sustenance

You should know that acts of obedience are essential to the well being of the servant's heart, just in the same way that food and drink are to that of the body. All wrong actions are the same as poisonous foods, and they inevitably harm the heart.

The servant feels the need to worship his Lord, Mighty and Glorious is He, for he is naturally in constant need of His help and assistance.

In order to maintain the well being of his body, the servant carefully follows a strict diet. He habitually and constantly eats good food at regular intervals, and is quick to free his stomach of harmful elements if he happens to eat bad food by mistake.

The well being of the servant's heart, however, is far more important than that of his body, for while the well being of his body enables him to lead a life that is free from illnesses in this world, that of the heart ensures him both a fortunate life in this world and eternal bliss in the next.

In the same way, while the death of the body cuts the servant off from this world, the death of the heart results in everlasting anguish. A righteous man once said, "How odd, that some people mourn for the one whose body has died, but never mourn for the one whose heart has died-and yet the death of the heart is far more serious!"

Thus acts of obedience are indispensable to the well being of the heart. It is worthwhile mentioning the following acts of obedience here, since they are very necessary and essential for the servant's heart:

Dhikr of Allah, recitation of the Noble Qur'an, seeking Allah's forgiveness, making du'a, invoking Allah's blessings and peace on the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and praying at night.

Source: From the works of Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali, Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyah, and Abu Hamid al-Ghazali
Your Reminder Fatima who love you all for the sake of Allah 

Awakening-Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Asalama Laykum my dears , after the long diagnosis from Dr Ibn Qayyim.Here is the prescription, the davai, the remedy for our sypmtoms. bitter or sweet let us swallow the pills to observe a better change Bi ITHNEE LLAH! but it all starts with accepting the diagnosis : The Awakening

The first of the ranks of the journey of servititude ('ubudiyah) is awakening, which is alarming and stirring up of the heart from the sleep of heedlessness. By Allah, how priceless is that revitalising alarm! How valuable and indispensable for the journey! Whoever experiences it, by Allah, he has indeed experienced the breeze of success. Without experiencing it, every one is lost in heedlessness. His hearing is asleep while his eyes appear awake. It is this blessed alarm that wakes one up and makes him a seeker of Allah. The seeker now rolls up his sleeves and musters up his courage to set out on the journey to Allah, station by station.

Perhaps it is this rising up from sleep that is mentioned in the following Qur'anic verse:

"Say: I exhort you only to one thing, that you rise up for Allah's sake in twos and singly, then ponder; there is no madness in your fellow citizen (Muhammad); he is only a warner to you before a severe chastisement." [Al-Qur'an 34:46]

The first realisation that illuminates the seeker upon this awakening is the immensity of gifts of Allah upon him. The believer's heart glances at the gifts and bounties of Allah and is overwhelmed by his own sense of inability to even count them, let alone thank Allah for them all. The second realisation is the realisation of the inadequacy of his gratitude and worship to Allah. These realisations are in fact both the cause and the effect of the first station of awakening. As the believer [alternatively, the seeker, for there is no difference between the two, every believer is indeed a seeker of Allah – translator] advances on his journey and as his heart is sharpened by these two realisations, it becomes incumbent upon him to notice more and more the innumerable inner and outer, open and hidden gifts of Allah and recognise his own shortcoming in thanking the Giver adequately. These two realisations make the seeker actualise the supplication of the Prophet, may the prayers and blessings of Allah be upon him, in which he said: "(O Allah), I admit Your bounties upon me, and I admit my sin, so forgive me, for no one can forgive but You!" [Al-Bukhari] At this point, one realises why this supplication is indeed the master of all supplications for forgiveness (as the Prophet has told us). The believer also realises at this point that if Allah were to punish all the dwellers of Heavens and the Earth, He would not be in the wrong. If, on the other hand, He were to exonerate and reward them all, his reward and mercy would far exceed their deeds. The believer, therefore, realises that he must be ever mindful of Allah's bounties and his own shortcomings.

NONE ENTERS IT EXCEPT THE PURE

The seeker inevitable realizes his sins and failings, and feels that he is in serious danger on account of them. He remembers Almighty Allah's censure for those who forget the verses of Allah after they have been reminded of them:

"And who is more wrongful than one who is reminded of the verses of Allah, yet he evades them, and forgets what is awaiting him." [Al-Qur'an 18:57]

Once the seeker is fully cognizant of his offences, he rolls up his sleeves to compensate for what has been lost. He breaks off the shackles of sins with the strength of istighfar (seeking forgiveness) and penance. He yearns for purification, just like the purification of gold and silver from impurities when they are burnt, so that he may enter the Paradise prepared by his Lord for him, for nothing impure can ever enter the Paradise:

" … those whose lives the angels take in a state of purity, saying (to them), "Peace be on you, enter the Garden, because of (the good) which you did (in the world)." [Al-Qur'an 16:32]

This purification is carried out by four means:

1. Repentance by turning away from sins (tawbah);
2. Actively seeking forgiveness (istighfar);
3. Good deeds that erase the bad ones; and
4. and calamities that efface the sins.

If one is purified by these four means, he becomes of those who is greeted and congratulated by the angles upon death, and assured by them of his abode in the Paradise, and that he shall see grief and fear no more. Without any of these four, one's repentance is not complete and is not likely to be enough to counter balance his sins.

After one's death, when he is in the state of barzakh (the state between death and the Final Day), his sins may be effaced by the following:

1. Funeral salah for him performed by the faithful;
2. The trials of the grave (may Allah protect us from this);
3. What his brothers from the Muslims present to him after his death, of virtuous deeds, like charity, Hajj, fasting, recitation of theQur'an and salah on his behalf. The jurists agree that the charity and supplications of the living will reach him and benefit him after his death. The majority include Hajj in this list, while the Hanabilah include all good deeds in this list; the Hanbali way being the most liberal of all in this matter.

Those who are still not purified by these means, may be purified by the dreadfulness of the Day of Resurrection or by intercession of those whom Allah will allow to intercede that Day, and finally and most importantly, by the pardoning of his Most Forgiving Lord.

If one's sins are still remaining, the Fire or the purgatory then purifies him, the extent of this punishment being proportional to one's sins. When one is cleansed of sins and corruption, and all that is left is pure and good, he is now entered into the Paradise, into which one but the pure may enter.

THREE PARTS OF THE REALISATION

The first of the two realisations, the recognition and appreciation of Allah's endless bounties, is assisted by three things: the light of intellect, Allah's favors, and consideration of the suffering of less fortunate people.

The light of intellect is the light that caused one's soul to wake up in the first place. One is able to appreciate the bounties of Allah only as much as the strength of this light allows him. Some may not realise Allah's bounties except in ordinary things like food, clothing, safety and their standing in the society. Such people may not have even a piece of this light from Allah, for the real bounty to consider and appreciate is the bounty of Islam, of Îman, of Allah's message, of the opportunity to remember Him and the honour to obey Him. This faith is the supreme bounty and gift of Allah, and one cannot see it expect with the illuminated inner eye.

Sensing the rays of Allah's favors through the clouds of mundane life and darkness of the desiring self is the second part of appreciation. One observes the unfortunate people who are heedless of Allah, or lost in innovations (ibtida') and forgotten the essence of the Din of Allah. Such disbelievers and innovators are indeed greater in misery and suffering than those who are dying of starvation and disease. Once the seeker realises the misery of the misguided, he realises the immensity of Allah's mercy upon him to have guided him, for things are known through their opposites.

THE SECOND REALISATION: OUR SHORTCOMINGS

The second of the two realisations associated with the awakening of a believer is the realisation of one's sins, which again is assisted by three things. Realising the greatness of the Truth, knowing oneself, and certainty in Allah's admonitions.

Realising His greatness from the core of one's heart is the key to understanding the enormity of defying Allah, the Most High. If one contemplates in the greatness of Allah and his own infirmity and weakness before Allah, and his need for Allah at every moment of his life, the enormity and wrongness of his sins becomes glaringly obvious. Knowing the nothingness of one's own self before Allah, therefore, is an essential step in abandoning sins.

The axis of all success is belief in Allah's promises and admonitions; and if this belief dwindles or weakens in the heart, so does any hope for success. Allah has clearly told us that His verses and signs are of benefit only to those who believe in His promises and warning and fear the punishment of the afterlife:

"Indeed, in these there is a sign only for those who feared the Punishment of the Hereafter." [Al-Qur'an 11:103]

"You are a warner exclusively for those who fear it (the Last Day)." [Al-Qur'an 79:45]

Those deserving of salvation in this world and in the Hereafter are none but those who believe in and fear the admonition of Allah:

"And We will establish you (the believers) on the Earth after them (the disbelievers), that is the reward for those who feared meeting Me, and feared my admonition." [Al-Qur'an 14:14]

REMORSE OF THE LOST MOMENTS

One of the highest grades of this awakening is the realisation of the lost days of one's life, which leads to the commitment to compensate for the lost time and fill the remaining days with goodness and virtue. Such an awakened soul then is miserly about wasting even an hour, indeed even a breath, in anything that is not helpful in its journey to Allah. Every wasted moment is a regret and loss on that Day and a hindrance on the journey to Allah.

Three things enhance the remorse for the lost days and the concern to compensate for them in the remaining days of one's life; knowledge, responsiveness to admonition, and company of the righteous. The more one knows the worth of deeds and enormity of their consequences, the more he realises the worth of his loss. Similarly, one's responsiveness to the admonisher of his heart (according to ahadith of the Prophet, every believer has an admonisher in his heart who warns him against possible sins) determines how much he can improve. The company of people who have great concern for the condition of their hearts and determination to reach the highest levels is another great help in the path of the seeker.

Thus ends the description of the first station (maqam) of the madarij (ranks) of the seekers of Allah.

(s) Madrajis as-Salikin (printed in Al-Jumu'ah Magazine)
Your Reminder Fatima who love you all for the sake of Allah 

Captivated, Imprisoned and Fettered-Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Asalama Laykum sisters
Let us keep discovering ourselves and anylize the diagnosis of the Dr of the heart Ibn Qayyim

And among its effects is that the disobedient sinner is constantly in the shackles of his Shaytan and the prison of his shahwa (desires) and the chains / fetters of his hawa (whims). So he is a captive, one who is imprisoned and who is tied up. There is no captive in a worse state than the one who is captivated by his worst enemy and there is no prison which is tighter than the prison of hawa (desire) and there is no bond / fetter more strong than the bond of desire. How, then, will a heart which is captivated, imprisoned and fettered travel unto Allah and the Home of the Hereafter. How will a person take a single step forward when the heart is bound and harmful things approach it from every direction. The harmful things approach it to the extent that it is tied up [i.e. imprisoned by its desires and whims].

The example of the heart is like the example of a bird. Every time is ascends it becomes distant from the harmful things and every time it descends the harmful things hurt it. In a hadith there occurs that Shaytan is like a wolf to people. Just as when a sheep has no protector and is in between many wolves, they are quick in causing damage and injury; likewise the servant who does not have guardianship from Allah, then his wolf [i.e. his desires, whims, etc.] is to him a predatory animal. Thus there is no escape for the servant from having protection from Allah. Taqwa is a safeguarding for him and a strong shield between himself and the punishment of this World and the Hereafter.

Every time the sheep is close to its shepherd it is more safe from the wolf and every time it becomes distant from its shepherd it is closer to destruction. So its sanctuary is when it is close to its shepherd because the wolf takes the lonely one from the flock and this is the one which is the furthest one of the flock from the shepherd. The basis of all of this is is that every time the heart is distant from Allah the harmful things are quick in approaching it and every time it is close to Allah the harmful things become distant from it.

Remoteness from Allah has levels/degrees, some of which are more severe than others. Heedlesness distances the servant from Allah and some acts of disobedience are greater than some acts of heedlessness. Some innovations are greater than some acts of disobedience and some things from hypocrisy and shirk are greater than all of what has preceded.

Your Reminder Fatima who love you all for the sake of Allah 

Human Beings Have a Great Capacity for Self Delusion-Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Asalama laykum sisters .Dr Jawzi  after  explaing (Disease of Desires and Passionate Love, and the bitter consequences of sins)make a great diagnosis of the cause and reasons of our sickness .know how! Read below

There are two things one should be take heed of if one wishes to attain success and felicity:

1. To know the details of the means of attaining good and evil, and to be clear about these through witnessing them in the world around, through one's own experience and that of others, as well as through reports one has heard about earlier and latter nations. One of the most effective means for attaining this is pondering over the Qur'an, for along with the Sunnah, it clearly explains the paths to good and evil. If you turn your attention to them, they will suffice you. They will inform you of Allah's treatment of the obedient, and of the sinners. Moreover, apply what you read to practical experience, and you will see the illustration of this - that Allah is true, the Messenger is true, the Qur'an is true, and that Allah fulfills His promise. History contains details of the paths to good and evil mentioned in the Qur'an and Sunnah.
2. Beware of deceiving oneself with regard to these paths. This is very important, for the servant knows that sin and heedlessness are harmful to him in his world and the Hereafter, and yet he may deceive himself through relying on Allah's pardon and forgiveness, by procrastination of repentance, by performing istighfar only verbally, by doing good deeds [after impetuously sinning], by knowledge, by justifying his sins by the argument of destiny, by citing exam ples of people committing similar sins, or by following in the footsteps of ancestors and elders.

Many people think that they can perform some sin, and then if they say "Astaghfirullah" the sin will disappear. Or, they may deceive themselves with ahadith such as:

"Whoever says subhanallahi wa-bihamdih" one hundred times in a day, his sins are taken off from him, even if they be like the foam of the ocean."

Or:

"A servant committed a sin and then said, 'O Lord! I have committed a sin, so forgive me,' and so he was forgiven ... then Allah says, 'My servant knows that he has a Lord Who forgives sins, and takes [to task] for them. I have forgiven My servant, so let him do as he wishes.' "

Such people cling to the texts of hope, and hold fast to them with both hands, and put [all] their reliance in them, such that if they are reprimanded for committing some sin, they will recite all that they known about Allah's mercy and forgiveness. Some went to excessive limits in this, such that they claimed that to remain free of sins is being ignorant or under-estimating Allah's mercy and pardon.

Some deceived people cling to the notion of fatalism; that the servant has no free-will and that he is compelled to commit sins. Other cling to the notion of irja' (false hope), claiming that faith is merely affirmation, and that deeds are neither a part of faith nor have any effect upon it. According to their claim, the iman of the most sinful of believers is just like the iman (faith) of the angels Gabriel and Michael.

Some are deceived by their fathers and elders, thinking that they have a rank before Allah, such that they would not leave them to perish. They take this by analogy from the behavior of worldly kings, who might grant a favor or pardon to someone based on the merits of his father or relatives. Such people are used to being taken out of difficult situations by their fathers, and are under the impression that this may happen in the Hereafter too.

Others deceive themselves by reasoning that Allah has no need of punishing them since He gains nothing from it, and He does not lose anything by showing them mercy. Such a person may say, "I am in dire need of His mercy, and He is not at all needy of [anything]. if a poor, thirsty person were in dire need of a drink of water from someone in whose premises there flows a river, he would not be denied it, and Allah is more generous, and more expansive in mercy."

Others are deceived by ridiculous misinterpretations / misunderstandings, e.g.:

"Your Lord will give you, so that you become pleased." [Al-Qur'an 93:5]

He says : I am not pleased to enter the Fire. This is despicable ignorance, and clear lies, for he should be pleased by what Allah is pleased by, and it is not against Allah's pleasure to punish the oppressors, wrong-doers, evil-doers, traitors and those persistent on major sins.

"Allah forgives all sins." [Al-Qur'an 39:93]

This is also despicable ignorance, for this verse refers to those who repent; otherwise it would imply invalidation of the verses threatening punishment for the sinners. This is specified by other verses:

"Allah does not forgive that partners be associated with Him, and He forgives anything beneath that to whomever He wills."[Al-Qur'an 4:48]

"None will burn in it except the most miserable one who rejected and turned away [from the truth]." [Al-Qur'an 92:15-16]

This is a specific fire from among the various levels of Jahannam, and moreover the fact that only the rejecters will burn in it does not rule out that others may enter it.

"[Hell] has been prepared for the unbelievers." [Al-Qur'an 2:24]

The fact that it has been prepared for the unbelievers does not rule out that sinful Muslims may also be punished in it, just as the fact that Heaven " ... has been prepared for the pious" [Al-Qur'an 3:133] does not rule out that people with the smallest grain of faith may enter it even if they were not pious.

Some are deceived by fasting the days of 'Ashura and 'Arafah, such that some may even say that the fast of 'Ashura expiates the whole year, and the fast of 'Arafah remains as a surplus of reward. Such people have failed to realize that the fast of Ramadhan and the 5 daily prayers are greater and more noble than the fasts of 'Arafah and 'Ashura, and that [it is understood that] sins are [only] forgiven as long as major sins are avoided. So, [fasting] from one Ramadhan to another, [praying] from one Jumu'ah to the next, act in a mutually strengthening manner to achieve forgiveness of minor sins, provided major sins are avoided. So, how then can an optional fast expiate every major sin of a person while he still persists upon the sins, and has not repented from them? Also, it is possible that these two optional fasts expiate all sins in totality, but that this has certain prerequisites and conditions, such as avoidance of major sins, or that the expiation is achieved in conjunction with other good deeds, much the same as the 5 daily prayers and the fasting of Ramadhan expiate minor sins in conjunction with the avoidance of major sins.

"If you abjure the major things which you are prohibited from, We shall expiate you your evil deeds." [Al-Qur'an 4:31]

Some are deceived by the hadith qudsi, "I am according to the good expectation/thought of My servant, so let him think of Me as he wishes."i.e. that whatever he thinks I will do to him, I will. But, good expectations can only be with good conduct, for one who does good expects that his Lord will deal with him well, will not break His promise, and will accept his repentance. As for the one of evil conduct, who persists upon major sins, oppression and other evils, the desolation of sin, wrongdoing and [other] prohibited things prevent him from having good expectations of his Lord. This is something we witness in everyday life. A disobedient employee who has run away with company property will not have a good expectation of his boss. The evil of wrong deeds cannot coexist with good expectation. The best in expectation of his Lord's mercy is the most obedient to Him. Al-Hasan al-Basri said, "The believer has good expectation of his Lord, so he make his deeds good. But, the evil person has bad expectation of his Lord, so he does evil."

How can someone claim to have good expectation of his Lord when he is like a runaway, and is doing things which displease and anger his Lord, and has abandoned His orders, and is at war with Him. How can one have good expectation of his Lord if he thinks that He does not see him?

"And, you used not to conceal yourself, lest your hearing, sight and skin testify against you, but you though that Allah does not know much of what you used to do. And that, your expectation which you entertained about your Lord, has destroyed you, so you have become among those lost/ruined." [Al-Qur'an 41:23]

So, these people, who thought that Allah did not know much of what they did, actually had ill-expectation of their Lord, and that destroyed them. Such people are deceived if they think they will directly enter Heaven; they are fooling themselves; Satan is leading them astray and beguiling them.

Ponder over this.

Consider : how is it possible for one's heart to be certain that one is going to meet Allah, that Allah sees and hears all that he does, and knows his secret open affairs, and that he will be made to stand before Allah, answerable for all his deeds - how can one be certain and aware of all of this, and yet persist upon things which displease Allah; persist upon abandoning Allah's orders, neglecting His rights, and yet claim that he has good expectation of Allah?!!

Abu 'Umamah Sahl ibn Hanif reports: 'Urwah ibn az-Zubayr and I entered upon 'A'ishah and she said, "If only you had seen the Messenger of Allah in one of his illnesses; when he had 6 or 7 dinar. The Messenger of Allah ordered me to distribute them in charity, but the pain of the Messenger of Allah kept me from doing that, until Allah cured him. Then, he asked me about them, 'What have you done? Had you distributed the 6 dinar?' I said, 'No, by Allah. Your pain had kept me from doing so.' He asked for them to be brought to him, and put them in his hand then said, 'What would be the expectation of Allah's prophet if he met Allah with these in his possession?' "

What, then would be the expectation of the people of major sins, and the oppressors, if they were to meet Allah with these sins and forfeited rights of people on their backs? If their claim that they entertained good expectations that Allah would not punish evil and wrongdoing people, were to benefit them, then everyone could do as he wished, doing everything that Allah has forbidden, provided he kept good expectation of Allah, thinking that the fire will not touch him. Subhanallah! How deceived can one be? Prophet Ibrahim said to his people, "Is it a lie, gods besides Allah, that you desire? What then is your expectation of the Lord of the Worlds?" [Al-Qur'an 37:86] i.e. what is your expectation of Allah, what do you expect He will do to you if you meet Him having worshipped other than Him?

So, if we reflect over this, we will realize that good expectation of Allah is equivalent to good deeds, for one is moved to good deeds by good hope of Allah, that He will reward him for his efforts and accept them. Otherwise, good expectation along with pursuit of whims and desires and lusts is incapacity.

In short, good expectation can only occur if the means for salvation are pursued. Pursuit of the means to destruction cannot accompany good expectations.

Someone might claim: It might, based on the expansiveness of Allah's mercy and forgiveness and generosity, and that His mercy exceeds His wrath, and that punishing does not benefit Him, nor does forgiveness harm Him. The reply is: Allah is indeed most generous and merciful, but this is in the appropriate place. Allah is also described as possessing wisdom and might and inflicting retribution, seizing with might, and punishing those deserving punishment. So, if the good expectation is based merely on some of Allah's attributes, then the righteous and the evil, the believer and the unbeliever, would equally be candidates for it. But, the names and attributes of mercy do not benefit the unbeliever or similarly one who has neglected his duty and exposed himself to Allah's curse. Rather, good expectation of Allah is for one who repents, regrets his sins and desists from the. This is good expectation, whereas the first is deception.

"Those who believe, and those who perform hijrah and jihad in the path of Allah - they are hopeful of Allah's mercy." [Al-Qur'an2:218]

So, these people are the ones who can be truly hopeful of Allah's mercy; not the evil and sinful people.

" ... then, your Lord is, to those who make hijrah after they have been persecuted, and then perform jihad and are patient/steadfast - indeed, your Lord is, after that, Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Al-Qur'an 16:119]

So, the knowledgeable one is he who puts hope in its correct place, whereas the deceived one is he who puts it elsewhere.

(s) Al-Jawab al-Kafi li man Sa'al 'an ad-Dawa' al-Shafi
Your Reminder Fatima who love you all for the sake of Allah