If you found it! eat it!
Shaykh, I have divorced my wife in a situation of anger! how can I return her back?
O brother! all of those who divorced their women did so while they were in a situation of anger. Have you ever seen someone divorcing his wife while he is eating seeds (well he means something like sunflower seeds to present the carefree and relaxing mood someone can be while eating them lol)
O Shaikh, I enter the toilet having my mobile phone and the whole Quran is stored on it, is that allowed?
Caller: But Shaikh!!! the Quran is saved there! how come??!!
Shaikh: O borther! its okay, its only saved the memory of the phone.
Caller: Shaikh!! THIS IS THE QURAN!!! HOW CAN IT BE IN THE TOILET???
Shaikh: Do you memorize any of the quran?
Caller: Yea, I memorized many of it.
Shaikh: Okay then. Whenever you wanna enter the toilet, leave your brain outside!
An Imam was selling his horse in the market. An interested buyer came to him and requested if he could get a test drive. The Imam told the man that this horse is unique. In order to make it walk, you have to say Subhanallah. To make it run, you have to say Alhamdulillah and to make it stop, you have to say Allahu Akbar. The man sat on the horse and said Subhanallah. The horse started to walk. Then he said Alhamdulillah and it started to run. He kept saying Alhamdulillah and the horse started running faster and faster. All of a sudden the man noticed that the horse is running towards the edge of the hill that he was riding on. Being overly fearful, he forgot how to stop the horse. He kept saying all these words out of confusion. When the horse was just near the edge, he remembered Allahu Akbar and said it out loud. The horse stopped just one step away from the edge. The man took a deep breath, looked up towards the sky and said Alhamdulillah!
your Reminder Fatima who love you all for the sake of Allah